this is a new chapter.

and what I wanted this journal for, to explore myself.

this just means that other people, people I love get to come along for the ride.

I sometimes wonder if I'm pagan enough. Which is strange. I've been pagan since I was 17 (which seems like I'm saying I'm alcoholic. Though most alcoholics won't say that they are until they can put the word "recovering" in front of it. It still makes them drunks.)

I'll admit that most of my "pagan-ness" has been through online communities. One I joined because my ex boyfriend asked me to -- where he managed to simultanously bad mouth me to the group and try to chat me up by pretending to be someone else (an action that he would repeat later, but I digress) -- however the group was based in another part of the state and I didn't have a way to attending the functions of the group (where he did all the bad mouthing apparently.) The second group was almost like an online version of the group from Buffy. A lot of meetings, a lot of fundraisers, not a lot of anything else. I never made it to any of those meetings either.

Most of my experience comes from various holidays with my best friend and what we would do together.

So when I say that I feel like I'm a bad pagan, what I mean is...

Apparently, I'm as much pagan as I ever was christian. I just feel more comfortable calling myself pagan than christian.

Yet.

It would make life so much easier if I could just claim the christian title and go with it. But it's not who I am.

More questions later.

You may know me.

You may not.

Either way I hope that with this journal, I'll be able to find out more about who I am, and what that means.